Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize