based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
