those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
