I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
