went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
