good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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