i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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