I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
