I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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