At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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