I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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