So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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