I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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