so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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