They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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