She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
