lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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