fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
