actually, I'm a sock model
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
