You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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