Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
