just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize