Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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