i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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