Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
