You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Acid is not a monday night drug
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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