the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
