i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think i have two assholes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize