Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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