There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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