I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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