I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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