Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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