the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
