One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
