I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
