weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize