i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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