Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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