my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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