Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
