so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
