I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize