I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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