Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
