She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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