Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.

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  (706): lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand. http://tfl.nu/av0q
  Replies (58) Good night (6326) Bad night (831)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet

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  (339): i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet http://tfl.nu/r3gc
  Replies (29) Good night (9905) Bad night (1553)
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  (707): View more from California

  i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting

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  (707): i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting http://tfl.nu/gfmw
  Replies (13) Good night (4430) Bad night (740)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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  (325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa
  Replies (19) Good night (6874) Bad night (1318)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.

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  (203): he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going. http://tfl.nu/qkax
  Replies (19) Good night (1620) Bad night (3282)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

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  (734): I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady. http://tfl.nu/nlis
  Replies (8) Good night (3928) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?

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  (740): besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right? http://tfl.nu/pxhk
  Replies (7) Good night (1410) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.

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  (714): the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead. http://tfl.nu/2k13
  Replies (7) Good night (1887) Bad night (602)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.

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  (609): I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt. http://tfl.nu/9dqv
  Replies (10) Good night (692) Bad night (2186)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.

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  (707): Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/ll0f
  Replies (11) Good night (520) Bad night (1623)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi

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  (832): Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi http://tfl.nu/cj6k
  Replies (10) Good night (1249) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.

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  (504): You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3jk2
  Replies (7) Good night (720) Bad night (1629)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.

  (1-506): View more from New Brunswick

  Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.

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  (505): She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once. (1-506): Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring. http://tfl.nu/s5ra
  Replies (7) Good night (2055) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...

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  (479): I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower... http://tfl.nu/hy7a
  Replies (1) Good night (354) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.

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  (307): While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career. http://tfl.nu/fdba
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (233)

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