Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.

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  (408): We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old. http://tfl.nu/3zai
  Replies (17) Good night (5836) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.

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  (859): Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine. http://tfl.nu/7uwl
  Replies (15) Good night (4936) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.

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  (+91): I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin. http://tfl.nu/d09o
  Replies (7) Good night (2804) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall

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  (302): My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall http://tfl.nu/j51z
  Replies (13) Good night (1208) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs

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  (970): Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs http://tfl.nu/ag8n
  Replies (6) Good night (808) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.

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  (260): The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible. http://tfl.nu/nj7i
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-

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  (910): before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_- http://tfl.nu/01p5
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.

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  (513): And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings. http://tfl.nu/38vk
  Replies (7) Good night (1239) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something

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  (601): She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something http://tfl.nu/xegg
  Replies (5) Good night (849) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper

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  (704): I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper http://tfl.nu/u2a8
  Replies (12) Good night (963) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?

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  (401): Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra? http://tfl.nu/q2ra
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town

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  (905): To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town http://tfl.nu/jicp
  Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.

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  (330): You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/exdp
  Replies (3) Good night (484) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.

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  (601): If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass. http://tfl.nu/tjid
  Replies (6) Good night (466) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.

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  (850): Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles. http://tfl.nu/5t8w
  Replies (4) Good night (329) Bad night (324)

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