Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry