This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
