There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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