I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter