Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
