wrigley field is MILF paradise
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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