Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
