you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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