I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
