Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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