so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize