11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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