You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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