Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
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Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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