weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
