the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
